On Doctrinal Unity and Diversity
A man was about to jump from a high bridge, when a second man ran up to him shouting, "Stop! Stop! Don't do it!"...
"But I have nothing to live for," said the first man.
"Maybe I can help you," said the second man. "Are you religious?"
"Yes, I am," said the first man.
"Me too!" said the second man. "Are you Christian, Jewish, or Muslim?"
"I'm Christian," said the first man.
"Me too!" said the second man. "Are you Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant?
"Protestant" said the first man.
"Me too!" said the second man. "Are you liberal or conservative?"
"Conservative," said the first man.
"Me too!" said the second man. "Evangelical or Fundamentalist?"
"Evangelical," said the first man.
"Me too!" said the second man. “Reformed, Lutheran, or Wesleyan?”
“Reformed,” said the first man.
“Me too!” said the second man. “Baptist, Presbyterian, or Anglican?”
“Presbyterian,” said the first man.
“Me too!” said the second man. “Truly Reformed or Winsomely Reformed?”
“Winsomely Reformed,” said the first man.
“Me too!” said the second man. "Transformationalist or Two-Kingdom?”
“Transformationalist,” said the first man.
“Me too!” said the second man. "Complementarian or Egalitarian?”
“Egalitarian,” said the first man.
"Egalitarian?! Then die, you blasphemous heretic!"
And the second man pushed the first man off the bridge.